Drowning in parenting advice? Here’s what actually matters
by Laura Kelloway, LICSW // February 3, 2026
Recently, our communications manager asked me to write an article for a local publication on any mental health topic — presumably tied to my work in child and family mental health. I’ll admit, getting started took me longer than expected. Every time I landed on a topic, I found a reason to dismiss it, especially if it involved parenting. So, instead of overthinking it, I’m starting with something simple and universal: how we talk about parenting advice and seek help for ourselves and our children.
Let’s acknowledge something upfront — parents have it hard right now. We’re living through extraordinary financial pressures, major strains in health care, and unprecedented political upheaval. Meanwhile, parents keep parenting, and children keep being children. And amid all this, parenting advice arrives at a dizzying and relentless pace. With so much of life happening online, parents are inundated by opinions: Gentle Parenting, FAFO Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Cycle Breaking Parenting — the list goes on. Each approach has compelling advocates, and it can feel like every style offers the right or “perfect” way to raise a child.
But here’s a truth we don’t say nearly enough: there is no perfect way to parent. The idea that childhood can be perfect is flawed from the start. And believing that any of us can achieve perfection in parenting sets us up for disappointment. Instead, I want to champion the concept of good enough parenting — an idea supported by decades of research. Even more encouraging: studies consistently show that children don’t need perfectly attuned parents to grow into healthy, resilient adults. They need caregivers who show up, try, and repair when things inevitably go sideways.
The concept of “good enough parenting” was introduced in 1953 by pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. He emphasized that striving for perfection often creates unnecessary strain in the parent–child relationship and serves neither parents nor children well. With the constant flood of feedback parents receive online, the permission to aim for “good enough” is something many families could truly benefit from. There are countless ways to parent, and countless ways a healthy childhood can look. Your instincts matter. Your values matter. And your family’s rhythm and needs will never — and shouldn’t — look exactly like someone else’s. When you model for your child that imperfection is normal, and that challenges, setbacks and messiness can be navigated, you are laying a foundation for resilience.
Rather than chasing perfection, what matters most is attunement — noticing your child’s feelings, trying to understand the world from their perspective, and responding with presence instead of precision. Great news here as well, research by developmental psychologist Dr. Ed Tronick shows that parents only need to get 30 percent attunement, so even this does not need to be perfect. Being attuned even at 30 percent does also require tending to your own needs in realistic, sustainable ways. I don’t mean crafting a 12-step self-care plan that will inevitably be abandoned. I mean small acts: eating a snack when you’re hungry, going to bed 15 minutes earlier, buying clothes that fit your body as it is today, or pausing to stretch for a moment. These small gestures accumulate.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by parenting stress or concerned about your child’s mental health, be intentional about where you seek support. Social media can offer insight and connection, but many content creators are also driven by likes, algorithms, and monetization. Their message may be helpful, but if you notice yourself comparing your real life to their curated one, pause. What you’re seeing is someone’s polished snapshot — not the messy, beautiful, imperfect reality every family experiences.
If you need support with parenting or understanding your child’s mental health needs, we at the Anna Marsh Clinic would be honored to be part of your team. We recently cleared our waiting list, expanded our staff, and are welcoming new clients.
Laura Kelloway is a licensed clinical social worker and the manager of outpatient child, adolescent, and family services at the Anna Marsh Clinic at the Brattleboro Retreat.
